| Your Screen Name is: the orken man |
[16 Oct 2010|09:35pm] |
ORVILLE HUNSUCKER
your parents have to be fucked to give you the name orville, but that's what his mother was. she popped, like popcorn, and what better name to give him than orville redenbacher hunsucker (pronounce huns-ucker) to remind him of that day. his mother was an attractive lady who grew up in a middle class neighborhood. it wasn't until she was a few years into college, and after marrying, that her illness began to set it. her husband, whom she'd met on campus, stayed with her despite the complications and warnings from his family to get away from the deranged woman who was often caught hauling around knives. he didn't listen and they welcomed ovrille into their lives. but a few years later, his mother did the unthinkable during one of her episodes, mistaking his father for someone trying to kill her. his life ended on june 20, 1993, and orville was sent to live with his grandfather, an old, sexual deviant. his mother was eventually sentenced and is still serving time in a mental institution in new york.
the tragedy is in the past and something orville has little to no recollection of. he was a young boy, but the event did have a negative effect that is just beginning to manifest itself in the form of fear of clingy females. who knows if they'll hack him to pieces for looking at them. because of this growing fear, orville chooses not to date. dating leads to commitment and commitment leads to sex with "feelings" and sex with "feelings" leads to a girl thinking she has martial claim over his tally whacker and that he's willing to throw away his freedom forever. fuck that.
his bestfriend in the entire world is ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) locklen kellerman. the two boys met when locklen was a new transplant, trying to burn up little ants. orville, being the younger of the two, thought this was the coolest thing ever, thus forming a bond that has kept the two inseparable ever since. their lives are similar, both having grandparents as guardians, and seeing the world from a unique perspective, one that didn't involve much rational thinking or logic. trouble makers from the get go, they didn't ease up once they made it to high school. locklen even talked him into joining the thespian's club because he heard it as "the lesbian's club" and what straight boy doesn't love lesbians? to this day, they remain tight. some would even say locklen failed last year so he could have the same experiences as orville.
orville lacks in the preparing for the future. he can't think that far ahead and, even if he could, the course would change. he likes to fly by the seat of his pants and that means there's no point in preparing for the future. he'd rather meet a hot, horny, rich, older woman in need of sex and willing to give him extravagant gifts for his services.
 born nov 13, 1990.
he's confused, but not sexually.
allows locklen to talk him into doing dumb things.
his favorite toys are boobs.
likes to eat round things because it reminds him of boobs.
never uses his pinky to hold things.
his favorite saying is "let's hug it out."
does his christmas and birthday shopping with lists saved from magazines.
chose to read seventeen magazine this year because he is seventeen.
OUT magazine and WIRED are also on his list of magazines he reads.
joined the thespians club looking for lesbians.
hits on his teacher he assists for all the time.
assists for dance so he could get close to his teacher and the other girls.
locklen and orville spend all of sign language class giving each other the finger and laughing. example:
"mr. kellerman, stop giving mr. hunsucker the middle finger from across the room."
"but it's like sign language right?"
"no, mr. kellerman, we've been over this before it does not mean anything, it's slang."
"hey, orville. * flips bird * it's slang."
/end (written by locklen)
7:15-8:05 pre-calculus
8:10-9:00 english IV
9:05-9:55 sociology
10:00-10:50 biology
10:55-11:45 sign language III
lunch 12:00-1:00
1:10-2:00 kickball
2:05-2:55 teacher's assistant (dance)
locklen + best fucking friend for lyfe, yo.
![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif) you + third member of the clan of dumb.
you + girl who makes her liking of him known and scares him.
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